At the end of every workshop, we go around in a circle and state a creative intention and a personal intention for the week. And last Sunday, after leading a fantastic day-long meditation/writing workshop, I vowed - in front of my students - to finally start a Comedy Karma blog.
As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I heard an inner voice (one of many that I have, thank you) say:
"How are you going to do that? Where will you find the time? This is going to be a crazy-busy week! Start panicking now!"
You see, I had visions of this blog being designed beautifully with just the right color palette and pictures and offering forth an incredibly inspiring and hilaaaaaarious first blog posting and angels and mokeys flying out of it throwing candy at the reader.
After all, it's got to be perfect, right? So where would I find the time to create a blog and then post an absolutely perfect first posting? And also find time to pack, get an oil change for the car, return emails and calls that are piling up, meet with clients and do a comedy show before leaving town for a gig in Palm Springs in less than 48 hours?
And then I remembered to work with what is. And to do the best I can. And to release attachment to the outcome. I talk to students about working with what is and doing the best you can, wherever you're at. Meditation can be challenging - no one ever said it's easy - but we're up for that challenge when we work with what we've got, apply ourselves as best we can, are kind and loving toward ourselves and let go of how it's all supposed to turn out.
And the repeated practice of this fills us with the confidence that we can take on anything, over and over again. And we start to live a little more fully, rather than always waiting. When we release our attachment to outcome - to the way things are "supposed" to look - it opens up a door of possibilities.
So here I sit, trying to get as much done as possible, chomping on dinner, painting my toenails, and typing away. This blog isn't as hilaaaaarious as I'd like it to be and may not inspire anyone to meet their life differently and certainly no angels or monkeys were harmed in the making of this. But it has had my full attention (well, almost full as I juggle hummus and bright red nail polish) for the past ten minutes. And I'm proud of myself for summoning my determination to - as Nike urges - just do it.
Before I opened my mouth at the end of the workshop last Sunday, I was going to wait to start my blog. But I didn't. And now I kinda like what I wrote. Funny how that happens.